As I have grown in my spiritual
understanding and experience in working with people from all
walks of life, I have the opportunity to look back at my own
life and see similar patterns in everyone's story. We all
have different individual adventures, opportunities and
experiences as we develop and grow through the years, and at the
time we think to ourselves that no one else can possibly
understand the extent of our happiness, or adversely our grief
as we journey through a roller coaster ride of life's loves and
emotions. Each person could write a very individual and
unique story about their life, which would be a best seller in
the book world, and become the next Hollywood blockbuster movie.
I often think from the age of 1 to
10 we are like sponges and soak up every experience, using all
of our senses as the world revolves around us, and we accelerate
our basic learning patterns as we evolve and grow.
Recently I watched an 18 month old child who was a bit wobbly
and new to walking independently. She was visiting a place
she had been taken to many times as a baby, but with the new
found freedom of her own legs everything was very obviously so
excitingly new and different. From the age of 10 to 20 we
know everything and can take on the world as our completely
rebellious attitudes rule. From 20 to 30 we're still
rebelling but we're not sure why anymore and we begin to
cultivate a more structured way of living, especially if we have
given birth to our own families and become more responsible in
life. From 30 to 40 we begin to ask the deeper questions
of life and what it's all about. If we're lucky in the
next decade we start to find a deeper understanding and our true
purpose in this life, developing kinder characteristics,
becoming more patient, generous, and loving, especially with
Perhaps because of
our conditioning in life and how we are taught to react to
people and situations in our formative years, and also the
examples we are shown through the media, we can at times create
stress and unhappiness, which brings unnecessary emotions.
This can create periods when we are completely unbalanced in all
aspects of our life; physically, emotionally, mentally and
spiritually. When we are open to understanding the
philosophy that our body is a mirror of our emotions, we can
look inside ourselves and work on a deeper level to help
recognise the emotional source of the diagnosis, as an aid to
clearing and healing any situation. Great authors to
help with this are Louise L Hay and Inna Segal.
We are also conditioned by other
people's expectations; initially family members and friends,
then teachers and work colleagues. We can look deeper at
each and every relationship we ever experience throughout our
life. Begin with your parents, whatever your relationship,
whether you physically knew them or not, they gave you the gift
of life, and they did the best they could, based on how they
were conditioned in their own life and formative years.
You were created from the love and unity of two as the magic of
total oneness, whatever the circumstance. Your mother
provided the potential for you as a seed of being. Your
father added the vital ingredient to ensure your growth to
perfection. You were nurtured within your mother's womb as
she surrendered to your coming, to welcome your soul in this
lifetime. As you were birthed into this life experience
you carried with you your own needs, characteristics and the
potential of your souls purpose.
There are other
family members within your ancestral family, and actually thirty
people who created you in only the previous four generations.
Your parents as two people, your grandparents as four people,
your great grandparents as eight people and your great great
grandparents as sixteen people. You may have brothers,
sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and your own children and
grandchildren. Other people may have come to you as
partners and friends in this life, some friendships being long
lasting, others just passing through. There are those with
who you have experienced more challenging relationships, some
who may have taken advantage of your good nature or harmed you
or your loved ones in some way, yet all of these experiences
were a catalyst for your learning in this life. These make
up countless numbers of connections and relationships which have
blessed you with many opportunities to learn and experience the
power of love in relationships.
Learning the art of
Forgiveness is a wonderful tool to help you clear pent up
emotions from the past. We may never forget an
experience in our memory of life, yet if we can change how we
feel about it and gain a new perspective of the reasons why the
event happened, we can free ourselves to embrace a new future.
If we focus on what can support us, rather than what has already
passed, we will feel a lot lighter about life. We can look
at being able to forgive symbolically as healing a wound.
If we can find it in our hearts to forgive, it is as if we have
cut ourselves with a sharp knife in the kitchen yet we are close
to a clear water tap, a clean cloth to dry the wound, perhaps
some lavender oil and a plaster. The wound heals with
hardly a mark. If we find we are unable to forgive we
alternatively find we have torn our skin on open moorland on a
dirty barbed wire fence where we are unable to clean the wound.
It becomes infected and takes a long time to heal, leaving an
ugly scar to remind us every time we look at it.
I have used and
shared many tools to help with this process in learning to love
myself, and using prayers of Love and Forgiveness. One of
the more recent skills I have used is the Hawaiian Healing
method Ho'oponopono. For deeper information and insight I
recommend you read the book written about this philosophy called
"Zero Limits" by Joe Vitale. I have extended the healing
mantra used to; "I see you, I believe in you, I love you, I
forgive you, I'm sorry, thank you", and have experienced many
amazing results with clients, including offenders and homeless
people. One of my clients lost all her anger issues
overnight. When she got home after working deeply with
forgiveness during our consultation time together, she took all
her old family photographs out and for the rest of the evening
thought the mantra to each friend and family member. The
depth of change this lady has since experience is immeasurable.
She feels so much better, lighter and in the flow of life with
so many more helpful people in her friendship and support
circle. There are some well known words that gifts us an
insight into all of our life relationships:
come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to
meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide
you with guidance and support.
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They
may seem like a godsend and they are, they are there for the
reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing
on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or
do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die, sometimes they walk away, and sometimes they
act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realise is
that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn
has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an
experience of peace or make you laugh, they may teach you
something you have never done, and they usually give you an
unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real, but only for
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you
must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what
you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of
your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is
As we accept these
lessons and thank and love each person for who they are and the
gifts they have brought to this life, you put what you learn
into action and use this in all other relationships and areas of
your life. With a clear view on life you are able to
understand how you always learn from each person and experience,
every moment of your life.
Recently a very
close friend of mine lost her elderly Mother after a terminal
illness. During her final days they were extremely lucky
to share some quality time and words. Her last conscious
sentences was "At the end of the day, life is just a story".
This is perfectly true. I was with another friend on a
different occasion when she was extremely stressed, and I was
amazed when she very calmly said "Never mind, it's only life
it's not forever!"
Our gift of life is
extremely precious and gives us the opportunity to learn from
all our relationships through the power of love and emotions,
and gather the strengths, gifts and talents we can recognise and
collect from each treasured moment of this journey. Be
sure you are someone who can release the past, which we cannot
change as we are unable to turn back time. The key to
freedom for our future is unconditional love and forgiveness.
Your future is unknown and full of potential. Allow
yourself to BE the BEacon of Light and Star of Wonder that you
are in our world. Live life. Love it. Be love.
We forgive ourselves for any pain, hurt or suffering we have
caused others either knowingly or unknowingly. We
forgive others who have caused us any pain, hurt or suffering,
either knowingly or unknowingly. We know that we are
forgiven by all the forces of light, life and love that flow
through this Universe. We release the pain from the past
and move forward into the future in Divine Love and Light.
Prayer of Love
In the Holy Name of Love, we call
upon the Power of Love, the Wisdom of Love, the Mercy of Love,
the Forgiveness of Love, the Compassion of Love, the Beauty of
Love, the Perception of Love, the Intelligence of Love, the
Ideals of Love, the Desires of Love, the Thoughts of Love, and
the Actions of Love, to be within ourselves, and to manifest in
our lives, both now and always.
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay ISBN 1-870845-01-3
The Secret Language of your Body by Inna Segal ISBN 978-0-9802865-5-7