Vandaeh Works

The Power Of Forgiveness Article

As I have grown in my spiritual understanding and experience in working with people from all walks of life, I have the opportunity to look back at my own life and see similar patterns in everyone's story. We all have different individual adventures, opportunities and experiences as we develop and grow through the years, and at the time we think to ourselves that no one else can possibly understand the extent of our happiness, or adversely our grief as we journey through a roller coaster ride of life's loves and emotions. Each person could write a very individual and unique story about their life, which would be a best seller in the book world, and become the next Hollywood blockbuster movie.

I often think from the age of 1 to 10 we are like sponges and soak up every experience, using all of our senses as the world revolves around us, and we accelerate our basic learning patterns as we evolve and grow. Recently I watched an 18 month old child who was a bit wobbly and new to walking independently. She was visiting a place she had been taken to many times as a baby, but with the new found freedom of her own legs everything was very obviously so excitingly new and different. From the age of 10 to 20 we know everything and can take on the world as our completely rebellious attitudes rule. From 20 to 30 we're still rebelling but we're not sure why anymore and we begin to cultivate a more structured way of living, especially if we have given birth to our own families and become more responsible in life. From 30 to 40 we begin to ask the deeper questions of life and what it's all about.  If we're lucky in the next decade we start to find a deeper understanding and our true purpose in this life, developing kinder characteristics, becoming more patient, generous, and loving, especially with ourselves.

Perhaps because of our conditioning in life and how we are taught to react to people and situations in our formative years, and also the examples we are shown through the media, we can at times create stress and unhappiness, which brings unnecessary emotions. This can create periods when we are completely unbalanced in all aspects of our life; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. When we are open to understanding the philosophy that our body is a mirror of our emotions, we can look inside ourselves and work on a deeper level to help recognise the emotional source of the diagnosis, as an aid to clearing and healing any situation. Great authors to help with this are Louise L Hay and Inna Segal.

We are also conditioned by other people's expectations; initially family members and friends, then teachers and work colleagues.  We can look deeper at each and every relationship we ever experience throughout our life. Begin with your parents, whatever your relationship, whether you physically knew them or not, they gave you the gift of life, and they did the best they could, based on how they were conditioned in their own life and formative years.   You were created from the love and unity of two as the magic of total oneness, whatever the circumstance. Your mother provided the potential for you as a seed of being. Your father added the vital ingredient to ensure your growth to perfection. You were nurtured within your mother's womb as she surrendered to your coming, to welcome your soul in this lifetime. As you were birthed into this life experience you carried with you your own needs, characteristics and the potential of your souls purpose.

There are other family members within your ancestral family, and actually thirty people who created you in only the previous four generations.  Your parents as two people, your grandparents as four people, your great grandparents as eight people and your great great grandparents as sixteen people.  You may have brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and your own children and grandchildren. Other people may have come to you as partners and friends in this life, some friendships being long lasting, others just passing through. There are those with who you have experienced more challenging relationships, some who may have taken advantage of your good nature or harmed you or your loved ones in some way, yet all of these experiences were a catalyst for your learning in this life. These make up countless numbers of connections and relationships which have blessed you with many opportunities to learn and experience the power of love in relationships.

Learning the art of Forgiveness is a wonderful tool to help you clear pent up emotions from the past. We may never forget an experience in our memory of life, yet if we can change how we feel about it and gain a new perspective of the reasons why the event happened, we can free ourselves to embrace a new future. If we focus on what can support us, rather than what has already passed, we will feel a lot lighter about life. We can look at being able to forgive symbolically as healing a wound. If we can find it in our hearts to forgive, it is as if we have cut ourselves with a sharp knife in the kitchen yet we are close to a clear water tap, a clean cloth to dry the wound, perhaps some lavender oil and a plaster. The wound heals with hardly a mark. If we find we are unable to forgive we alternatively find we have torn our skin on open moorland on a dirty barbed wire fence where we are unable to clean the wound. It becomes infected and takes a long time to heal, leaving an ugly scar to remind us every time we look at it.

I have used and shared many tools to help with this process in learning to love myself, and using prayers of Love and Forgiveness. One of the more recent skills I have used is the Hawaiian Healing method Ho'oponopono. For deeper information and insight I recommend you read the book written about this philosophy called "Zero Limits" by Joe Vitale. I have extended the healing mantra used to; "I see you, I believe in you, I love you, I forgive you, I'm sorry, thank you", and have experienced many amazing results with clients, including offenders and homeless people.  One of my clients lost all her anger issues overnight. When she got home after working deeply with  forgiveness during our consultation time together, she took all her old family photographs out and for the rest of the evening thought the mantra to each friend and family member.  The depth of change this lady has since experience is immeasurable. She feels so much better, lighter and in the flow of life with so many more helpful people in her friendship and support circle. There are some well known words that gifts us an insight into all of our life relationships:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

 When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support.

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are, they are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, sometimes they walk away, and sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

 Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh, they may teach you something you have never done, and they usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real, but only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

As we accept these lessons and thank and love each person for who they are and the gifts they have brought to this life, you put what you learn into action and use this in all other relationships and areas of your life.  With a clear view on life you are able to understand how you always learn from each person and experience, every moment of your life.

Recently a very close friend of mine lost her elderly Mother after a terminal illness.  During her final days they were extremely lucky to share some quality time and words.  Her last conscious sentences was "At the end of the day, life is just a story". This is perfectly true. I was with another friend on a different occasion when she was extremely stressed, and I was amazed when she very calmly said "Never mind, it's only life it's not forever!" 

Our gift of life is extremely precious and gives us the opportunity to learn from all our relationships through the power of love and emotions, and gather the strengths, gifts and talents we can recognise and collect from each treasured moment of this journey. Be sure you are someone who can release the past, which we cannot change as we are unable to turn back time. The key to freedom for our future is unconditional love and forgiveness. Your future is unknown and full of potential. Allow yourself to BE the BEacon of Light and Star of Wonder that you are in our world. Live life. Love it. Be love. Love all.

You may like to invest in my meditation CD titled "Forgiveness" (refer to CD section for details).

Prayer of Forgiveness

We forgive ourselves for any pain, hurt or suffering we have caused others either knowingly or unknowingly. We forgive others who have caused us any pain, hurt or suffering, either knowingly or unknowingly. We know that we are forgiven by all the forces of light, life and love that flow through this Universe. We release the pain from the past and move forward into the future in Divine Love and Light.

Prayer of Love

In the Holy Name of Love, we call upon the Power of Love, the Wisdom of Love, the Mercy of Love, the Forgiveness of Love, the Compassion of Love, the Beauty of Love, the Perception of Love, the Intelligence of Love, the Ideals of Love, the Desires of Love, the Thoughts of Love, and the Actions of Love, to be within ourselves, and to manifest in our lives, both now and always.


You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay     ISBN 1-870845-01-3

The Secret Language of your Body by Inna Segal    ISBN 978-0-9802865-5-7

Zero Limits by Joe Vitale ISBN     978-0-470-40256-6

June 2010

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